Run report 137 at Jalan Lam San by Regu
HASH SHIT OR NOT
It started all because of Opener, shit.. Appointing me as a scribe in the last minute as Why Why was away. Being a virgin in Hashing, curiously I accepted the offer only to be put on the ice for using a recorder. Thanks to nurse fucker always f**k new comer. No one escape under his watchful eyes even though that short ass can’t see at his eye level, well what I mean is he will never grow an inch taller.
False Alarm was the 1st to be on ice, by GM for not supporting the hash=cash coin box (t-shirts purchase)always t-loan-lah, Well cannot blame-lah a National Hero always dons Nike, Umbro and Addidas for a $12 t-shirts. A good choice. The GM also ensures that everyone got their waist pouch from Brother Andrew.
The Hare was call on ice. Wait a while describes the run oohs sorry walk as good because she finishes the run within 1hr and 15 mins. She talks about the crossing of the monsoon drain and how she managed to climb over the other side with the help from Opener. One can imagine how fun will that be if only Wait A While have to fall on him. Well done Wait A While for a true sportsmanship, sorry isn’t it “sportswomanship”.
False Entry commented that it was a good run and Say Teng has lift up to his expectations, except it was a little bit short. Overall she enjoyed the run and said it was great run. Hang on a minute; I will suggest in the future that False Entry have to drink at least half a dozen beers before she allows holding that whip. I do agree.eh! No other comments as I am the scribe.
Opener commented in an un provoking manner that everyone finished the run, because no one knows what had aspired in the monsoon drain between him and Wait A While. He wanted to help Wait A While as she was struggling to cross over the monsoon drain but he was worried that she will flattened him. And he goes on saying that it was too short for some of them. Probably he was mentioning the good runners like Hoop A Loop and Dead End. He also mentioned that it was good terrain and the marking was well marked.
At this point Sleeping Dick waved frantically to Opener to pass him the whip but was ask to sit on the ice before hand over to him. Every time Opener talks it was Sleeping Dick wants to make a guest appearance. Hole in One was invited to join in to sit on the ice. Sleeping Dick was mentioning about the run and how Hole In One has helped Say Teng after he was “Gong” off. What “Gong” off is exclaimed from the floor. Just “Gong” off, lie flat you know, mentioned Sleeping Dick. At this point Hole In One was mentioning how ill was Say Teng and she single handedly accomplish the trail. She also mentioned that she have to shortened the route as she was more worried for Say Teng. Ok, she got our votes. Sleeping Dick stood up to comments about the run; it was well marked and was a good run. At this point Say Teng also mentioned that he left a small packet of rice for the runners.
The whip was then passed to Not Enough, and he mentioned that he could be able to finish the run within 1 hour and even Wait A While could be a record holder for completing the run. He claimed that it is a F**king short run and Dead End came in within 44 minutes. The floor challenged that it could be a time difference, well the next time please wear a Rolex or Tag Heuer.
Opener shouted that she should encourage others to lay like that so she could be able to finish the run. At this point the whip was pass it to Hungry Bum but quickly pass over to Hoop A Loop, first thing was from him is about the beer. There were no beer after completing the run a Say Teng was no where to be found.
He was looking for the Malaysian Guy, Not Enough to put him on ice. Hoop A Loop was sharing his ordeal about directing the taxi driver to Lam San. There was tug of war between the driver and himself and the taxi driver being adamant about going his own way rather than the direction given by him. Eventually the taxi driver admitted that he was never being here before. Welcome to Singapore, didn’t they tell you that we have first class transport system in the world. Take a good look on all our condominium names, so classy that no one remembers besides the residents. When it was mentioned Lam San, first thing come to my mind is Lam Pah.
Hoop A Loop shared his Alaska story that he even delivered the beer after breaking his arm. He was clearly disappointed that there were no beers after our run. He was decided to go to a nearby coffee shop. I shared his sentiment and truly believe that after a run you need to wash down with good beer. In fact we alls suggested that we should on on at My Wife’s Place. Dead End showed his t-shirt saying that drinkers with running problem but what about oyster eaters with running problem. To me runners with drinking problem sound right and it is all about Hash.
In the end Nurse Fucker was on the ice for no reason by Not Enough just to introduced him as the White Bear. Whip was passed to Agar Agar and she call upon Morning Cock for gobbling 6 eggs during his 3 meal period. She also invited Numb Balls and called him the handsome one to be sat on the ice. Agar Agar explained to everyone about the eggs story and even asks the Bak Kut Teh vendor to make half boiled eggs for them. False Alarm sat on ice for being the celebrity during Babi Hutang’s Highway Code class. False Alarm pictures were flashed and were told to the class about drink driving.
A gentle reminder to all runners from Roll Over to submit their script on time. Anyway Say Teng was awarded the Hash Shit for the run.
There we were, 20 April or was it the 27th, but it was another Thursday and we were just off KJE exit 5 waiting to run the hash. Got there early and saw the GM stagger out of the jungle. Apparently he had partied a little hard the night before and decided to feign heat exhaustion and get Hole in One to lay the trail for him while he goofed off in the shade. Soon he said trail is laid and departed…why, a quickie while the pack ran the trail, a beer at My Wife’s Place, dinner, …who knows. More on where the GM went later.
For me, I anxiously awaited my Philippina partner…could she find her way to the run site, only lived in Singapore for 8 years. Ahhh forgot, women and directions do not mix. Frantic call I get, “talk to the taxi driver! How do I get there!” I tell him “Take the PIE to the KJE”, “no” he says, “must take PIE to BKE then KJE”…”no” say I “PIE to KJE….hit him in the head” I tell her…she tells me to convince him…is she being kidnapped to the BKE, or will I see Hungry Bum at the hash, at last Mr. ‘I am a Singapore taxi driver and know the way arrives (some bruises from Hungry Bum on him)..and he exclaims..”ohhh never been here before lah, why you all come here????” Hungry Bum gets out and then takes her wrath out on me. Why don’t the hares defend me, alas forgot they departed to places unknown.
We run the trail, finally on in, no water, no beer, so run some more. Finish the run, shower, all in a circle, no water, no beer…told you I had no idea where the hares went. At last the GM returns…beer…where is the beer, or so sorry lah, back of my car with the water. Just went home for a nap after my strenuous trail setting………and then there was the circle….but that is another story for another time!
Boob ‘still being abused for not controlling the taxi driver by remote control’ a Lube.